Saturday, September 26, 2009

He Who Walks Behind The Rose

After an afternoon of drinking with his Sparkness at Spike Hill, I came home to eat dinner and spend what remaining time I had with my girl before her work night begun. So ,not unlike any other night you come home from the bar, we turned on The Sci-Fi Channel. I'm sorry...SyFy(I'm still not quite sure why they changed the name in such a stupid fashion). After a few not paying attention to the white noise that is typically the standard after a great afternoon, I realized that Children of the Corn was about to come on. And I'm not talking about the 80's horror classic that we all grew up with. This was not the catered-to-period classic most of my generation came to love. There were no midgets, crazy redheads, and cheap 80's haircuts. It was a retelling. But unlike the other bullshit "retellings" we see these days of cult classic, the "SyFy" original is closer to the original short story that was written by Stephen King back in 1997. I've only been periodically paying attention to it, while I sit here drinking a 40 and trying to enjoy "personal" time I don't necessarily need. Even though it is closer to King's classic short, it still doesn't have the same appeal that the 80's classic did.

I want to hear the redheaded freak Courtney Gains yelling "Outlander!!!" I crave to see the midget-playing-child Isaac freaking me out with his smalltitude. I want to fear "He Who Walks Behind The Rose" like I did Jason, Freddy, and the Critters back in my mid-80's horror heyday. Do I get that? No! It's the Sci-Fi network and I get garbage for a "retelling" just as I would expect. Fuck it! I'll finish the movie and express my disdain drunkenly for the next couple of days.

I'll just leave off with the original Children of the Corn trailer. Cheers!!!

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